Salam Alaykum community,
I just really had a pretty crappy conversation with my mom, but over all Friday and Saturday night was great- I was with the sisters at different haliqas learning about Islam, eating and just having fun. So since we all chat for a long time, time seems to leave me and I just let my phone catch my messages and when I can I will return my mom’s phone call to tell her I’m okay and that I will call her when I get home, which I hours later because I’m still yapping away with the sisters :)
So tonight, not even an hour ago, I called my mom and my voice is a little funny because I’m coming down with something so she automatically started to ask me if I was drinking or drunk, and then asked later on the conversation. I told her I wasn’t drinking and that I don’t do that anymore. So she wanted to know where I was and I told her I was with the [Turkish] ladies at their gathering. And then this is where s**t hit the fan.
You would maybe actually think that she would happy that I wasn’t drinking or being at clubs, but being at a woman’s house with other women…but if I was getting drunk at a club, she would actually have been happier to hear that. Unfortunately, I don’t roll that way.
The conversation basically went downhill and I have been tearing up and crying of sadness and grief ever since, but luckily I spoke to a friend I was very happy to see online. My mom isn’t educated in things outside of her own life or out side of the region where we are from, and sees the wrong things from the news everything else outside is foreign and bad. All bad, nothing is good from foreigners, ironically, … well I won’t get into it. But anything that is not like her and what she is used to--- is the work of being brainwashed and not really knowing what you’re talking about, you’re just confused. Everyone else is wrong and that’s the end of story. You see one of the reasons why I left the valley? I’m not saying my mom, but the way of thinking.
Here are some quotes from the conversation we had that still break my heart :(
-I don’t want you to be brainwashed by them, they will think you’re an easy target
-don’t forget where u came from…
-you aren't covering your head like those ladies are you? I don’t want you to be a stereotype, u hear me?? U HEAR ME?!?!
-the stereotype of being from ‘over there’ even though you are from here
-why do u need to cover your face or hair or whatever?
-u don’t have to go with them anymore, u can just eat at home
Why can’t people just open up their hearts and mind? Not just to Islam, but to other things as well. Damn you media…u ruined it for the rest of us.
SOooo, I ask you all----Have you ever had this kind of situation or have known a brother/sister who experienced this with their mom/dad? What happened? What should I do? Keep lying to her and tell her I’m not a hijabi and just toss in on some weekends that I’m going to a bar…